The Top 7 Ingredients that SmartyPants is Keeping From You

Posted by Whit Honea on

corn_hazmat You have probably noticed that SmartyPants Vitamins are GMO-free, because of course we are. This is a good thing, but it also raises the question: What is a GMO? That’s easy, GMO is an acronym for “genetically modified organism” and that often leads to the follow-up question: What other acronyms are SmartyPants Vitamins keeping from us? That’s not as easy, because the truth is that we are keeping all kinds of other acronyms from you. ALL KINDS. In fact, we can’t fit the entire list on the bottle, so we just included the one that is real; however, to provide you with peace of mind we decided to share a few more here on the website. We really hope this helps. 7 Acronyms NOT Found in SmartyPants Vitamins: SSN (Social Security Number) - We respect your privacy, and will never ask for your social security number, nor will we ever put your address, blood type, or other personal information on or in a bottle of SmartyPants Vitamins. We would like your PIN number though, so email that to us. BYO (Bring Your Own) - While we do suggest bringing your own SmartyPants Vitamins wherever you go, we are happy to report that you are not required to bring your own anything when it comes to the ingredients. All SmartyPants Vitamins are ready to go upon purchase. No assembly required. UFO (Unidentified Flying Object) - Everything in SmartyPants Vitamins has been identified, even the flying stuff (does not contain owls). LOL (Laugh Out Loud) - There is some gray area surrounding LOL, as technically the act of laughing out loud is a side effect not an ingredient. That said, there was definitely some happiness present during the bottling of SmartyPants Vitamins and you should use your best discretion while smiling. Please note, laughter is considered highly contagious. OMG (Oh My Goodness) - Just kidding, the goodness is totally in SmartyPants Vitamins. Lots of it. We were just making sure you were paying attention. NSA (National Security Agency) - We can say, with 100% certainty, that SmartyPants Vitamins does not monitor any of your personal actives. However, we will take a little credit for giving you the energy needed to be active. Also, this post is being recorded. GMA (Good Morning America) - Unlike Soylent Green, our products are not people (or owls). No, not even Ginger Zee. There is one more acronym that we are very proud of, and that is BOGO (Buy One Give One). As part of our mission at SmartyPants Vitamins we support the social good, which means for every bottle you buy we make a matching vitamin grant to kids in need around the world through our non-profit partner Vitamin Angels.. That may not be an ingredient in the product, but it is an ingredient in our business, and that’s good stuff, too. TL;DR - Only good stuff goes in SmartyPants Vitamins.
  Whit Honea is the author of The Parents’ Phrase Bookco-founder of Dads 4 Change, and publisher of the relatively popular website Honea Express. He lives in the greater Los Angeles area with his wife, two sons, and too many pets.

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